Of Spring, Vaction, and Grief

Winter seems to be struggling to allow Spring take over. Like a post I saw, “Winter keeps sticking its head back in the door and yelling, “And one more thing…”
I am not a fan of being cold, but what can I say? “The Lord gives and the Lord takes away.”  He’s taking it away today and hopefully soon it will start warming, but for now, we are surviving this “Sprinter.”

I feel like I’ve been struggling too. Winter blues kind of had/has a grip on me and I can’t seem to shake them. I have a myriad of things that are calling my name but I can’t seem to accomplish any of them. Painting. Sewing. Spring cleaning. << whaaat is that?

Confession: That last one, Spring cleaning, my house doesn’t even know what that is anymore.  It seriously does me no good to clean the entire house from top to bottom. By the time I get done with one end, the other end is hosting eight-legged creatures building new webs. It works better to do one room at a time and stretch it out over the entire year. At least I always have at least one clean room this way. maybe. kinda.
So there ya have it. I don’t Spring clean.

We attended a few Florida sunsets for Spring Break. It was nice to feel warmth when you stepped out the door. Warm being a relative term while we were there. To the Northerners, it was warm but to the natives, it felt coo-oold.

Life at the beach has changed. It used to be awful. Little kids crying and rubbing sand in their eyes. Carrying a ton of things in while urging a toddler to keep moving. Digging holes in the sand, carrying water, building a castle only to watch them smash it. Someone usually cried from lack of sleep, someone was cold, someone was hot. Food, food, food to drag along, well that one still remains, but for the most part, going to the beach is a lot easier then it used to be.

We take as little as possible. I unload the vehicle and by the time each kid has something to carry, there is very little left for me. Granted, this time we did have my sister and her little tribe along, but it still went very smoothly and I could tolerate a few hours sitting there. I am not a beach lover in case you wondered.

The days we weren’t at the beach, this guy spent hours here. Toward the end of the week, the weather cooled considerably, but that didn’t stop him. One morning he was swimming and the air temperature was 59 degrees. The water was pretty warm and he claimed as long as he didn’t get out to jump, he was fine. But he still kept getting out to jump…

It felt so good to spend time with these two ladies in Florida. Yes, we did all the usual kid-care, meal stuff, and laundry while on vacation, but still, to stay in the same house and spend a week together was just good. I value times like this so much.

It wasn’t that we were all there and he was the only one missing, there were others back at home, but still, we all missed Tristan fiercely that week. He would have loved to hear what all was happening, he would have probably been calling in the morning before we were out of bed and just been a big part of the trip, even from home.  It’s time like these that realize you will spend the rest of your life living with this grief. Yes, it changes, it ebbs and flows with different feels, but it will always be there.

My first choice would have been to live life not knowing what this feels like. Since that is not an option, I am glad to carry this weight, to live with this grief, because feeling this means I was privileged to know and love him. I would not trade the years I spent with him to live without this grief.

Live your life so you will long be remembered with love.

Spring Days

The dogwoods are blooming, tree buds are opening, and flowers are showing up overnight. My ferns are starting to unfurl and things that I have no name for are popping up in the flower beds. We here at the little house in the little woods are quite happy to see that nature is closing in around us and we are no longer able to see the road. All that to mean, the people on the road are no longer able to see us!

April was a triple hitter with things happening, but May is going to knock it right out of the ballpark. I don’t know if my brain will be able to keep up with my body. Sadly, June is shaping up to look exactly the same. Slow, lazy summer, where art thou?

We were in IN for Easter.
It was a good weekend and we enjoyed spending time with family again, but we all missed Tris. There is just a big empty spot in all of our hearts now. Everything we do reminds us of how much he would have liked it or something he would have said or done.

I was thinking about Easter, the resurrection, our situation and what this day represents for those who have lost a loved one. Because of this resurrection, we have hope and believe me when I say hope is a beautiful thing. 

Grandma and Grandpa put a little cabin back in the woods, “for the grandkids'” they said, but we all like to spend time back there. We roasted hotdogs for lunch on Saturday.
And I heard you thinking the word redneck. What in the world would make you think that? Perish the thought! 😛

This little guy can’t wait for the day he can drive his Dad’s jeep.
The rest of us can hardly wait either because we have a good feeling about him.

Of course, there was a lot of this.
Big guys teaching the little guys.

~~~

This guy has been dreaming of ball games day and night. He will beg and plead endlessly for someone to play with him.

Once upon a time, I baked bread frequently… lately, um, not so much. The other week Eric found a big batch of morel mushrooms so I decided to make some fresh bread to go with them. I forgot how good it is.

Do not take this girl to a store such as this. If given permission she would empty your wallet before you could turn around.

~~~

These girls, when their Sunday school teacher’s birthday was coming up, they planned a party to surprise her. Or maybe it was just an excuse for them to have a party.

Sadly the night turned quite chilly but they wrapped up and had a good time.

Thankfully, I didn’t have to worry about making the dessert with my in-house baker.

~~~

Our neighbors have a rooster.
The little chicken living here has learned to call to him and he will often answer.

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A few questions:

If you were painting a mudroom and laundry room, what color would you paint?
What do you have, or wish to have, in either of those rooms that is most important?
What is a good organization system in the mudroom so it doesn’t look like a shoe store just threw up?
And any other good things about either of these rooms?

The Beauty of Spring

Springtime always brings gifts that some
may call small pleasures.
Not so here.

When you live anywhere in the northern end of things,
these little buds are not small gifts, they are big gifts.
They tell the story of life, of warmth, of sunshine.

We are always overjoyed to see new blooms popping up.
First it’s the little green stems sprouting their heads,
next there is a bud and the kids watch them closely.
Finally the first one pops open, followed by more and more.

They speak life into a winter weary soul.

Another big gift of Spring is going outside.
Or rather, sending the kids outside.

I love to see them “want” to go outside these days.
In the winter it takes multiple layers of clothing,
in the summer they are sooooo hot,
having already forgotten all those layers of clothes.
In the Spring, it’s new, it’s exciting,
there are so many things to see and explore.

These 2 created their own little hut of some sort.
Since their dad hangs seamless guttering for a living,
they promptly installed some of their own.
I’m sure he wouldn’t approve of the quality
so it’s the thought that counts.

What one wears, the other one must wear. always.
She insists on following him everywhere he goes.
Most of the time he’s ok with this
and it’s fun to see them interacting more since she’s a little older.

This fever also hits both old and young alike in the Spring.
The wife, not so much!
Eric thinks I should learn to golf and go with him.
I laugh and asked, “Have you seen me just mini golf?”
Then he laughs and we drop the subject.
Maybe I could drive the cart.

There are little grubby hands full of gifts in the Spring.
If it isn’t flowers, it’s acorn tops filled with leaves.

We have multiple little bouquets sitting around here,
daffodils, elephant ears, weeds and all kinds.

Spring is for thunderstorms, wind and rain,
for sunshine, beauty and new hope.

Don’t forget the gift each day is.
Click on the picture and download it for yourself.
The download pin is in the bottom right corner.

Go and enjoy this day.

The day the Lord created hope
was probably the same day he created Spring.

Daybook

Outside my window…

green leaves popping
brilliant yellow forsythia bush
wild rabbits hopping
birds building nests
a black and white stray cat that insists on becoming our cat.

I am looking forward….

to warmer weather
school ending
the smell of newly mowed lawns
a day with friends tomorrow (but not the dentist app in the afternoon)
celebrating Christ’s death and resurrection on Sunday with my church family

I am thinking…

it’s a good thing I’m baking cookies I don’t really like
how my baby’s eyes always pop open as soon as we get to the crib
that my 3 year old needs less electronics in his life
I wish the sun would shine
how hard it is to go through hard things with your children
that these cookies I’m making won’t taste quite like his mom’s
that I need to pay her to make cookies for us

I am thankful…

for grace, forgiveness and mercy that is new every morning.
where would I be without it?
a husband by my side for all things I face

I am listening…

to little boy chatter
a million questions
the washer running
baby noises

In the kitchen…

cookies waiting to be baked
lots of dishes wanting to be washed
a dishwasher full of clean ones
and no clue what to make for supper

One of my favorite things…

quietness… I know it sounds trivial but when there just isn’t a lot of something, you almost crave it. On Sat a friend took my children for a few hours and it was so quiet here it was almost ringing in my ears. I crave silence sometimes, just me, myself and my thoughts.

A picture…

my brother and I, a very long time ago!

Spring

A rather random post of not much of anything.
– – – – – – – – -Is Spring actually here?
We knew it would happen, knew we’d get that one last cold snap.
But wasn’t that the time before the time before?
Compared to March, April has been one continuous cold snap.
Oh well, it will warm up, one of these days.

On one of the nicer evenings we had a fire and roasted marshmallows.
Girls loved it. Mr. D did too but he continually lit his marshies on fire.

Let me introduce you to the best kind of s’more. ^^
A Chocolate fudge stripped cookie.
Peanut butter.
And a perfect marshmallow.
Why is it so good?
It’s the perfect amount of chocolate, (just a little) you don’t have to bite into that awful wedge of hard chocolate.
The cookies are much better then graham crackers.
The peanut butter just adds to it all and makes it even better.
It’s just the best. 🙂
Try it.

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This is just how it is too.
When the Bleeding Heart flower starts to bloom, Spring is here.
It was starting just beautifully this year and then a hard frost got it.
I had been covering it when it was cold enough but wouldn’t you know, the weekend we leave, frost got it.
Sad.

We have quite the flower garden.
Between the “Bloody Bush” and “Creeper Jenny” stalking around, you’d think we’d have a murder scene.
The girls can not remember flower names and their mom isn’t much better.

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In news other then Spring and the weather… we’re trying not to let our 2 year old turn into an i-pod junkie at such a young age. I’m afraid at this rate he’ll be wearing ear buds to Kindergarten. He’s got all the moves down pat to open it up and find his beloved Curious George. He also has it down pat how to sneak it away without mom seeing him. It’s buried in his blanket here.
Where were these things when I was a kid?
Oh yeah, I was better off without them.

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This one only causes trouble when she’s out of books.
And that would be about every other day.
Not sure what’s gonna happen this summer.
She is tired of our little local library. Says she’s read everything there already.
Time to move on to bigger and better.

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And we couldn’t have a post without food could we?
I mean, the very thing that sustains us must have it’s most important place in a post.
My SIL Berneice told me she makes these for her kids so I tried them too.
Don’t know where she found it, probably Pinterest.

Buy a tubes of cinnamon rolls by the cresant rolls and canned biscuits.
May as well get 2. You’ll need them.
Stick them in the waffle iron a few minutes.
Frost and eat.
As easy as that!
I love these on Sunday Mornings when I forgot to get anything else around and they don’t want cereal.
I made 3 at a time the other Sunday. It really doesn’t take long at all, probably less time then a waffle takes.

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And there may or may not have been a clown at school one week to celebrate the teachers birthday!

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

And this is something we’re trying to work on here…
A never ending work in progress…