A Hunting Saga

And so it was in the eleventh month of the year,
when the trees of the field had lost their leaves
and the harvest was gathered and stored,
a sudden illness of fever overtook mankind once more.
Lo, many were the bows, guns, and knives gathered
and much scheming of men did abound.

And all the swift-footed creatures of the forest
quieted themselves and turned their heads.
Then, lifting their noses they did sniff the air
and swiftly run for refuge and safety
from the cunning hunters that stalked them.

From generation to generation this saga continued,
men of old teaching children of youth,
line upon line, precept upon precept,
recounting tales of old and skills of new,
all for the cause of hunting the swift-footed deer.

And so it continued in the tribe of Eric, son of Dan,
for behold, the father of the tribe had been taught
this skill also and was well versed in the ways of the wild.

Now it was on the morning of the first day,
that he did send messages unto his brothers,
for they too possessed knowledge and skills in this quest,
gathered from the teachings of their father.
And they went out and from dawn to dusk
did hunt and stalk their prey, making much to-do,
but in the end, all efforts were to no avail.
Though they were much grieved in their spirits
by this failure that had come to pass,
many were the stories thereof told.

Now, the children of the tribe of Eric, son of Dan,
listened in amazement and did cry aloud saying,
“Father, let it be so that we also may join you.
For as sure as the night is dark and the day is long,
we will be able to remain silent
and retain our body heat while sitting in the forest
awaiting the arrival of a swift-footed deer.”

And all the while the mother of the tribe
wondered in bewilderment that you should desire
such a thing when the comforts of home were so sweet.

So it was on the morning of the third day,
the mother of the tribe of Eric, son of Dan,
did arise and prepared food for her household
before they should depart for their classes of learning.
For just as the dawn broke the eastern sky,
there was much hustling, bustling, and stirring about
amongst the children of the tribe.

And so it was that when his morning cup
of black brew was empty, the father of the tribe arose
and quietly left the cup upon the counter to be cleaned.
And standing for a moment did gaze out of the window,
and suddenly he began to call in quiet, frantic tones,
“Behold! There standeth within range,
a fatted doe, awaiting me!
Hide thyself from the windows
and speak with whispered words!”

Swiftly much ripping and racing about did occur,
but the mother of tribe merely raised
her eyebrows as she went about her business,
for she had heard this story before.

And as she called threats to her children to hurry,
there came a resounding, “BOOM!” from a window overhead.
And lo, how her heart did lurch in her chest
as she gasped in amazement from the sound.
Then much to her surprise, she heard a hiss from the stairs,
“The doe hath dropped, but another standeth nearby.
Bring now more ammo and that my daughter
may also harvest one!”

Now I tell you of a truth, that in all the world,
eye hath not seen nor ear heard
the flurrying scurry of all wild things moving at once
as did occur in the moments at hand.
For such a time as this, not one soul
was about to be left behind and all gathered in the bedroom
to behold the sight before their very eyes.

The father of the tribe, as his father before him,
instructed the daughter with care of sighting and aiming.
Tense words were whispered and many movements later,
we closed our ears and jerked to the thundering boom.
Much laughter and merriment did follow
as the children of the tribe cheered for two in one morning,
and none less than from the bedroom window.

But the mother of the tribe not caring as much as her offspring,
was not to be deterred from her mission
and hustled and bustled them around, calling out threats,
and behold, they were only eight minutes late to their classes.

And so it was in the fall of this year,
another story was played out, to be told and retold
for generations to come of the father and daughter
who stalked and took their prey from the comforts of home,
just as the mother of the tribe knew was the best place to be.

R hunts

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Lo, How A Summer Doth Fly

And so it was in the eighth month of the year of our Lord,
in the midst of days of running to and fro,
that summer did wax hot and the days long.
But although the days were long,
the months were short and soon it was to be
that school was almost upon us.

And the mother of the tribe of Eric, son of Dan
did as Lot’s wife, and looked back.
With wistful thinking, she pondered,
“Why is it that so many things remain undone?”
What of my plans for teaching new skills,
of guiding and prompting the tribe along in wisdom?
What of the days of sitting upon the river bank
and the dangling of feet with not a care?
Behold, were there not picnics planned which happened not,
also days of relaxation by the water with castles of sand,
and surely, all manner of things most splendid
of which little was accomplished.
It would seem as though we did blink,
and lo, the summer was past and gone.

July (18)

And so it was that the mother of the tribe
continued to look back and ponder
all her hopes, dreams, and plans for the summer,
for she once had a great many.
What became of the days she wished to spend
teaching, training and instructing her daughters
to further their culinary skills,
so as to work herself out of a job?
For lo, time was running out, school was approaching
and it would seem she had gotten nowhere, swiftly.

Madison bakes

There were a great and many other things left untaught,
such as sewing of dresses, canning of foods,
and the proper sorting of laundry and such deeds.
Yet it would seem the interest of her daughters
did not lie in such things, but rather
they fell prey to things such as the baking of all things sweet
and of painting, brushing, etching and sketching.
“Have I failed them again, these few short months?”

Reagan's art

And as the mother of the tribe of Eric, son of Dan
stepped back to survey the past summer,
she did moan and groan in her spirit
and was grieved to find that her son
was no more of a proper gentleman then he had been
when summer commenced in the fifth month.
Behold, the burping, farting, and jumping
seemed only to increase in strength and might
as quickly as did he through the summer months.
His love of teasing and tormenting did far exceed
his love of all things proper and mannerly.

And so it was for days without end,
that the “Battle of Siblings” was fought in full fury.
And though they wearied, yet the skirmish ended not,
for lo, there was not one among them who would
give in, give up, forget, or forgive.
And fraught with weariness of mind and body,
the mother of the tribe thought to call
the father of them all and beg and plead of him,
“Come hitherto, and hold up these arms of mine,
for they are weary from the separating of your children,
for surely I am rescuing them from the death of one another.”
And behold, a fine word from the father of the tribe
ended the never-ending battle, for such as time as this,
because he did take his son along to work the next day.
But the Mother knew in her heart of hearts
that as sure as the dawn breaks the darkness,
so it would begin again shortly and she pondered,
“Have I not taught, have they not heard,
have they not retained any such things of which I speak?”

D&R

And as her mind was tossed to and fro,
she looked back to conversations of yore
and was once again reminded by the wisdom of the aged.
For it was said of them over and over again,
“Make haste and enjoy the day at hand,
for surely there will come a day when all the children
of men will be departed from your tents
and all the apron strings will be torn asunder.
And lo, it shall be in that day that you will sigh unto yourself
and looking back, wistfully pine for these days.”
And she puzzled in disbelief as to how it would ever be so.

Wise words of old she knoweth not,
yet one thing she doth know for sure,
“Lo, how a summer doth fly!”
And so she purposed in her heart
to forget the work that waiteth at daybreak
and to take delight in the short days remaining
until the time of school was at hand.
And behold, she girded up her skirts,
waded into the fray and listening
to the sounds of the tribe
she wondered if maybe one day
she really would miss it.

Of Much To-do About Cleaning

And lo, there came a day in the year of here and now that the mother of the mother of the tribe of Eric, son of Dan sent a message unto this household saying,
“Prepare, for we are about to begin on a journey to see thee and thy kinfolk and our children’s children. Do not kill the fatted calf or dust the webs and sweep dungeons for though the voyage be long, our stay will be but for a short while. Our caravan of camels, servants, and kinsmen will be arriving on this given day and will rest and enjoy a short stay within your house.”

But when the message was delivered, the mother of the children of the tribe of Eric, son of Dan heeded only to the first sentence of the missive, the part about the coming of the tribe of Owen, son of Enos where upon she commenced into a frenzied state of affair.

With much weeping and wailing, she did cry unto herself and her children,
“Why ever was I so slothful in the affairs of cleaning corners? Make haste at once children and bring me the brooms and rags of all shapes and sizes, and many of them, for we will need them all. Run son, with all thy might, to the barns and sweep the floors, daughters, scurry and grab the mop and attack the corners at once!” And so it was that the war on dirt and dust bunnies did commence with furry and vengeance because the kinsmen were coming.

Small eight-legged creatures building webs trembled in terror and the dust bunnies did make much ado and billow about. Her children while working, did moan and wailed and cried, “Mother, please do not torture us so with all this cleaning and bustling about. Do you not suppose our relatives have dirt and webs of their own and are accustomed to such things?” But the Mother harkened not unto their cries and relentlessly tore into her household with haste, for her kinsmen were coming.

And so it was from dawn until dusk they did labor, busily scurrying about, preparing for the guests to arrive. Much to the joy of the mother of the tribe, her daughters were home for an extra day from their place of learning, and so the much more did she torture them with work to do.

And picking up her cellar device she did place a call unto her husband and said unto him, “My kinsmen are coming, buy and kill the fatted calf with which we might feed them well for they are special and worthy of honor.

So he harkened unto her voice at once and bought and prepared the meat with spices and seasonings of his kind. And while it was yet dark, before the dawn broke the sky, he arose and did place the meat upon the grill in preparation for the feast.

When finally the day arrived for which they had all been preparing, the mother of the tribe scurried about with more preparations. But the son and daughters of the tribe of Eric, son of Dan, happily escaped hither to their place of learning with much joy and happiness at the thought of escaping their frenzied mother.

Hours past with much haste and when all was prepared and the time of their arrival was at hand, the mother did flop her body onto a chair and sigh, imagining that all had been accomplished and all was well. But as she surveyed her work, she saw that much to-do had been in vain, for it seemed as soon as one room had been mopped and fluffed, the eight-legged creatures and bunnies of dust did promptly make their way in and set up residence, happy to reside in a room that smelled fresh and new, just for them.

And upon seeing the weary faces of her children and examining and finding grouchiness in herself, she purposed in her heart that the next time kinfolk were coming, they would surely do just fine in a house where dust bunnies and eight-legged creatures do reside. After all, it seemed the bustling about with much to-do had accomplished next to nothing because the creatures had not moved out at all, but were merely rearranged.

And so it was with much joy and rejoicing they welcome the caravan of family upon their late arrival and a wonderful weekend was had by all, bunnies, webs and all.

Falls (1)

 

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Tales of Nellie Hamster

Now as the summer came to a close,
and the days of earth shortened in length,
it came to pass that the children
of the tribe of Eric, son of Dan,
went back to their place of learning.

Now the son of the tribe
was in his first year of twelve,
and much excitement abounded.
He was joyful in heart and mind
to be leaving the house of his Mother
and joining a classroom with
the beloved teacher of his sisters.

Now the Mother of the tribe of Eric,
loved this teacher also
for her skills and abilities in the classroom
were not to be compared to any other.
But the Mother of the tribe was also wise
and she knew much about the ways of
this much-beloved teacher of her children.
Many years before when the daughters of the tribe
were scholars of this teacher,
animals aplenty abounded
and this mother felt an ill wind blowing,
when she pondered on her son attending this class.

And so it was that school commenced
and excitement rose to an all-time high
in the house of this tribe.
Upon arriving home
from the first day of schooling,
shouts and cries could be heard
from the son of the tribe,
“We have a hamster for a pet at school
and we get to babysit him on weekends!”
And when upon hearing the words of her son,
did the mother’s head drop with her chin
against her chest for all of her fears
had come to pass.

nellie-1

True to the words of the son of the tribe,
a paper soon arrived for the Mother.
Instructions were to sign for weekends
when you did not want to be the caretaker
of the previously mention small ball of fur.
Immediately upon reading these words,
the Mother grabbed a pen and began to sign
the son’s name upon every line.
Now her children were wise unto her ways
and a cry arose voicing their disapproval of her actions.
Being the kind-hearted Mother she is,
she relented and allowed that the
small creature of fur would be able
to cross the threshold of her home,
but only for the sake of her son.

nellie-6

Anticipation mounted high
in the weeks awaiting the creatures arrival.
As circumstances would have it,
the parents of the Mother of the tribe
would be arriving the same weekend.
The Mother of the tribe of Eric, son of Dan,
had an uneasy foreboding about the
meshing of said visitors.

nellie-5

And so the day arrived that
Hamster Nellie of the tribe of Miss Lois
arrived at the home of the clan.
Much hooping and hollering did abound
when the cage was brought into the house.
They immediately knelt upon the ground
and loosen the latch to free the small prisoner.
And so the much loved Nellie was thereafter
carried and cuddle and cared for
in the most adoring manner.
Along with the loving,
this small creature caused many an argument
over who was to have a turn next.

nellie-3

Now the grandmother of the son of the tribe
is not a lover of all things small and furry.
Armed with this knowledge and a sneaky smile,
her grandson proceeded to place Nellie
upon her lap and stepped back to watch the action.
Much yelling and protesting did come forth,
just in the manner for which he hoped
and with much laughter on his part,
he did rescue poor Nellie.
After the swift removal, it was then discovered
that when a small hamster is nervous and scared,
their bowels produce multiple droppings,
even if it isn‘t appropriate to do so
on a grandmother‘s lap.

nellie-4

And so the entire weekend was filled
with shrieks and yells and much
exclaiming and ado over
the actions of one small furry creature.
The little fur ball may have been frightened
for her life on more than a few occasions.
Escapes were made under furniture,
behind computers, under tables and such like,
with much chasing and rioting to follow.
Burrowing down under the blankets of
the bed of the son of the tribe,
seemed to be a favorite of hers.
The Mother of the son just
closed her imaginative mind
to the things that must be residing
in the bed and made plans to
clean many things the following day.

nellie-2

Monday morning could not come
soon enough for the Mother.
Many were the threatenings
and evil thoughts bouncing
when mention was made of this ball of fur.
And much to her dismay
as she was closing the door behind her son
as he made his way off to school,
she heard him excitedly say,
“I can’t wait till the next weekend
we can babysit Nellie!”

nellie-7

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Of Cookies With Melty Chips

There came a day in the first month of the year,
the 3rd week of the month,
the last day of the week
that the dwelling place of the tribe of Eric
was in a disorderly state of affair.

The Mother of the tribe rose up early
to begin the task at hand.
Or maybe it was that she just arose when the young child cried
and procrastinated a few hours before beginning the task.
Never the less, she had a mind to work,
and work she finally did, for things were fairly flying.

As she spun herself in circles, the son of Eric spoke.
“Mother, we are in need of freshly baked cookies!”
Hoping to dissuade her only son she replied,
“Son, there are many cookies residing downstairs
in the depths of the freezer.
Take yourself down and fetch me a box, please.”

But he obeyed her not, only answering her command with,
“Mother, the cookies of which you speak
are not the cookies I desire.
My heart longs for cookies with many chips of chocolate,
soft and gooey, that they may melt in my mouth.”

The Mother of the tribe dropped her dust rag,
thought long and hard of her reply, and in her sweetest voice cooed,
“Son, would it please you if we would bake a pan of bars,
all gooey with chocolate, soft and melty, just like cookies.”
For this mother knew in her heart that baking bars
was so much easier then scooping cookie dough.

Yet once again her son quickly and firmly replied,
“No Mother, cookies it must be and cookies it will be,
all soft and gooey with chips that melt in your mouth!”

So the Mother, seeing the futility of the fight,
gave up the battle, for she knew in her heart that they did indeed
need chocolate chip cookies, all warm and gooey.
She did indeed feel a bit contrite you might say,
for it had been many, many moons since she had baked
chocolate chip cookies for the son.

And so, dropping the cleaning rags of which we spoke,
they began to bake the cookies.
Oh, the mixing, the dumping, the pouring and such,
of the mess, one can only imagine if one has small helpers.

First upon the tray were place small heaps of dough,
all gooey and lovely with nary a chip in sight.
The son stared wide eyed and in an astounded voice cried,
“Mother, where are the chips for which I long?”
“Oh son,” she answered, “These are my cookies,
mine and your father’s, for you see,
cookies without chips are the best kind of cookies!”
Shaking his head he disagreeably stated,
“Only cookies with chips are the bestest,
we must need put chips in the rest.”

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Baking continued and soon it was that they added chips and more chips,
licked the dough, scooped some more, baked them up,
and the children of the tribe of Eric were happy indeed.

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The Mother of the tribe was surprised at how quickly she was done.
8 dozen lay in rows with only one or two missing occasionally.

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The son of the tribe looked them over,
sized them up and down and around,
carefully checking the tops and the bottoms
for that one cookie with the mostest chips
that would be all goey and melt in your mouth.

He must have found quite a few perfect ones
for more then one was consumed that day.

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As for the chipless ones,
the Mother was happy with only a few
for her and the father of the tribe.
The less desirable they appear,
the fewer consumed to stick around with her forever.

Easy Chocolate Chip Cookies

2 C butter
1 1/2 C White Sugar
1 1/2 C Brown Sugar
4 eggs
-cream together

2 tsp Soda
2 tsp Salt
2 tsp Vanilla
2/3 C Instant vanilla pudding (or 1 box)
5 C flour
16oz Chocolate chips

-Mix well.
Bake 8-9 min @ 375

Of Whining and Work

In the fifth month of the year of our Lord,
the daughters of the tribe of Eric, son of Dan
were weary with their schooling,
ready to be free.

The mother of the tribe was weary also,
ready to be free of the demands
of the rigid schedule.

Excitement mounted
and soon it came to pass
that the school year had ended.
Freedom at last,
(or so they thought)
to do as we please.

Stay awake with the moon,
they surmised,
and sleep past the rising of the sun!
Lie about on pillows of ease,
and read the day away.
The watching of movies,
talk of pools, sun and sand,
parties with tea,
and all things grand.
Life at its best.

But lo, there was the mother of the tribe,
who knew what was to come.
Soon it was, that bickering and grumbling,
followed closely by much wailing
overtook the household.

The daughters of the tribe
commenced to arguing and strife.
“But you did…  but you didn’t!”
“Mother, she said this… well she said that!”
And the striving raged on.

The son of the tribe of Eric,
found pleasure in tormenting females,
where upon wailing would ensue,
much to his delight.
Simply placing his hand upon the head of small one
would cause great anguish for all,
followed by his laughter.

And so on and so forth, until the sun went down.
And the evening and the morning were the unending day.

And lo, the mother of the tribe…
had had enough.

The great wide world of outdoors was calling.
And so the door was opened
and the tribe was ushered outside.
But alas, the rains fell and beat upon the roof
and great was the fall of it,
returning the children indoors.

And the evening and the morning were the unending day.

Nearing the end of her sanity,
she rose early and  made lists
of all things profitable,
work of all shapes and sizes to be done,
written on tablets of stone!
The spiders in their webs did quake in fear.

And when her children arose,
she gathered them together
and did line them up with a stern command.

Thus saith the mother and so it shall be.
“If fighting or any such thing equal thereto should occur,
a job will be applied.
All whining and complaining
will be met with more work.
All teasing will be abolished with
cleaning of toilets and sinks!”

And they opened their mouths
and did wail with great cries of anguish.
Where upon the mother applied a job to each.

And all was silent.

So from this day forward peace did reign.
When fighting and wars arise amongst the tribe,
the house becomes clean once again.

All the while the mother secretly debated in her heart
over wishing for school to start again
or enjoying her clean house.

Reag

A City Trip (with kids)

On the 10th day of the 10th month,
the father of the tribe of Eric, son of Dan
set off on a journey to the golf course
with brothers, uncles and cousins of all tribes.

Now the mother of the tribe of Eric, son of Dan,
knowing that her husband was leaving,
thought to herself,
“The daughters of the tribe have been requesting
a trip to the near by city, we should go.”
Where upon when school was dismissed,
she loaded the tribe and set sail.
One would have thought that by now
this mother would know better, but alas,
she forgets quickly.

Arriving at the entrance of the city gates,
a dispute arises among the occupants of the carriage
on where to purchase food for the evening meal.
One was in search of the Chinese,
another requesting a visit with the Mexicans
and yet another wanted to spend time with
Old McDonald on his farm.
Putting her foot down swiftly
the mother of the tribe of Eric, son of Dan replied,
“I will decide!”
And so it would be.

Upon arriving at their destination,
seat belts clicked,
squabbles broke out
and more disputes arose.
After quieting the tribe,
the mother herded them toward the entrance.

Once inside, Little One yelled loudly
and chewed the handle of the cart.
The eldest of the tribe firmly griped the hand
of the son of Eric
and a roar came forth from him
as one can only imagine,
for he did not want his hand held.
Not to be left out,
the 2nd daughter of the tribe ambled about,
the world in general dismissed from her mind,
eying candy, touching goods, reading labels,
wandering aimlessly in front of anyone whose path we might cross.

Where upon, the mother of the tribe of Eric, son of Dan
squeezed her eyes shut and wondered
what in this world she had gotten herself into,
for you see,
it had been many months since she had embarked
on such a journey.
To the best of her ability she pressed onward
going potty, putting things back on shelves,
looking at toys, squelching requests,
rounding up stragglers,
and mentally praying that her husband
was enjoying himself.

When the walk through the store concluded,
they left the building and upon entering the carriage
a cry arose from the tribe
as to where we should purchase food for the evening meal.
Squeezing her eyes tightly,
the mother once again let her voice be heard.
And all was quiet!

A mental decision was made to visit the food court
at the local mall where everyone could
partake of the food of their choice.
Only if you are a mother
can you image the going on that followed
creating the event of the evening meal.
The mother of the tribe was grateful
that few people had chosen to grace us with their presence.

Exiting the building the eldest daughter quietly spoke,
“Now I know why we don’t do this very often!”
And the Mother just smiled and herded her tribe
back to the carriage for the return trip
and hoped that her husband was enjoying himself.

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