Of Much To-do About Cleaning

And lo, there came a day in the year of here and now that the mother of the mother of the tribe of Eric, son of Dan sent a message unto this household saying,
“Prepare, for we are about to begin on a journey to see thee and thy kinfolk and our children’s children. Do not kill the fatted calf or dust the webs and sweep dungeons for though the voyage be long, our stay will be but for a short while. Our caravan of camels, servants, and kinsmen will be arriving on this given day and will rest and enjoy a short stay within your house.”

But when the message was delivered, the mother of the children of the tribe of Eric, son of Dan heeded only to the first sentence of the missive, the part about the coming of the tribe of Owen, son of Enos where upon she commenced into a frenzied state of affair.

With much weeping and wailing, she did cry unto herself and her children,
“Why ever was I so slothful in the affairs of cleaning corners? Make haste at once children and bring me the brooms and rags of all shapes and sizes, and many of them, for we will need them all. Run son, with all thy might, to the barns and sweep the floors, daughters, scurry and grab the mop and attack the corners at once!” And so it was that the war on dirt and dust bunnies did commence with furry and vengeance because the kinsmen were coming.

Small eight-legged creatures building webs trembled in terror and the dust bunnies did make much ado and billow about. Her children while working, did moan and wailed and cried, “Mother, please do not torture us so with all this cleaning and bustling about. Do you not suppose our relatives have dirt and webs of their own and are accustomed to such things?” But the Mother harkened not unto their cries and relentlessly tore into her household with haste, for her kinsmen were coming.

And so it was from dawn until dusk they did labor, busily scurrying about, preparing for the guests to arrive. Much to the joy of the mother of the tribe, her daughters were home for an extra day from their place of learning, and so the much more did she torture them with work to do.

And picking up her cellar device she did place a call unto her husband and said unto him, “My kinsmen are coming, buy and kill the fatted calf with which we might feed them well for they are special and worthy of honor.

So he harkened unto her voice at once and bought and prepared the meat with spices and seasonings of his kind. And while it was yet dark, before the dawn broke the sky, he arose and did place the meat upon the grill in preparation for the feast.

When finally the day arrived for which they had all been preparing, the mother of the tribe scurried about with more preparations. But the son and daughters of the tribe of Eric, son of Dan, happily escaped hither to their place of learning with much joy and happiness at the thought of escaping their frenzied mother.

Hours past with much haste and when all was prepared and the time of their arrival was at hand, the mother did flop her body onto a chair and sigh, imagining that all had been accomplished and all was well. But as she surveyed her work, she saw that much to-do had been in vain, for it seemed as soon as one room had been mopped and fluffed, the eight-legged creatures and bunnies of dust did promptly make their way in and set up residence, happy to reside in a room that smelled fresh and new, just for them.

And upon seeing the weary faces of her children and examining and finding grouchiness in herself, she purposed in her heart that the next time kinfolk were coming, they would surely do just fine in a house where dust bunnies and eight-legged creatures do reside. After all, it seemed the bustling about with much to-do had accomplished next to nothing because the creatures had not moved out at all, but were merely rearranged.

And so it was with much joy and rejoicing they welcome the caravan of family upon their late arrival and a wonderful weekend was had by all, bunnies, webs and all.

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Tales of Nellie Hamster

Now as the summer came to a close,
and the days of earth shortened in length,
it came to pass that the children
of the tribe of Eric, son of Dan,
went back to their place of learning.

Now the son of the tribe
was in his first year of twelve,
and much excitement abounded.
He was joyful in heart and mind
to be leaving the house of his Mother
and joining a classroom with
the beloved teacher of his sisters.

Now the Mother of the tribe of Eric,
loved this teacher also
for her skills and abilities in the classroom
were not to be compared to any other.
But the Mother of the tribe was also wise
and she knew much about the ways of
this much-beloved teacher of her children.
Many years before when the daughters of the tribe
were scholars of this teacher,
animals aplenty abounded
and this mother felt an ill wind blowing,
when she pondered on her son attending this class.

And so it was that school commenced
and excitement rose to an all-time high
in the house of this tribe.
Upon arriving home
from the first day of schooling,
shouts and cries could be heard
from the son of the tribe,
“We have a hamster for a pet at school
and we get to babysit him on weekends!”
And when upon hearing the words of her son,
did the mother’s head drop with her chin
against her chest for all of her fears
had come to pass.

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True to the words of the son of the tribe,
a paper soon arrived for the Mother.
Instructions were to sign for weekends
when you did not want to be the caretaker
of the previously mention small ball of fur.
Immediately upon reading these words,
the Mother grabbed a pen and began to sign
the son’s name upon every line.
Now her children were wise unto her ways
and a cry arose voicing their disapproval of her actions.
Being the kind-hearted Mother she is,
she relented and allowed that the
small creature of fur would be able
to cross the threshold of her home,
but only for the sake of her son.

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Anticipation mounted high
in the weeks awaiting the creatures arrival.
As circumstances would have it,
the parents of the Mother of the tribe
would be arriving the same weekend.
The Mother of the tribe of Eric, son of Dan,
had an uneasy foreboding about the
meshing of said visitors.

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And so the day arrived that
Hamster Nellie of the tribe of Miss Lois
arrived at the home of the clan.
Much hooping and hollering did abound
when the cage was brought into the house.
They immediately knelt upon the ground
and loosen the latch to free the small prisoner.
And so the much loved Nellie was thereafter
carried and cuddle and cared for
in the most adoring manner.
Along with the loving,
this small creature caused many an argument
over who was to have a turn next.

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Now the grandmother of the son of the tribe
is not a lover of all things small and furry.
Armed with this knowledge and a sneaky smile,
her grandson proceeded to place Nellie
upon her lap and stepped back to watch the action.
Much yelling and protesting did come forth,
just in the manner for which he hoped
and with much laughter on his part,
he did rescue poor Nellie.
After the swift removal, it was then discovered
that when a small hamster is nervous and scared,
their bowels produce multiple droppings,
even if it isn‘t appropriate to do so
on a grandmother‘s lap.

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And so the entire weekend was filled
with shrieks and yells and much
exclaiming and ado over
the actions of one small furry creature.
The little fur ball may have been frightened
for her life on more than a few occasions.
Escapes were made under furniture,
behind computers, under tables and such like,
with much chasing and rioting to follow.
Burrowing down under the blankets of
the bed of the son of the tribe,
seemed to be a favorite of hers.
The Mother of the son just
closed her imaginative mind
to the things that must be residing
in the bed and made plans to
clean many things the following day.

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Monday morning could not come
soon enough for the Mother.
Many were the threatenings
and evil thoughts bouncing
when mention was made of this ball of fur.
And much to her dismay
as she was closing the door behind her son
as he made his way off to school,
she heard him excitedly say,
“I can’t wait till the next weekend
we can babysit Nellie!”

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Of Cookies With Melty Chips

There came a day in the first month of the year,
the 3rd week of the month,
the last day of the week
that the dwelling place of the tribe of Eric
was in a disorderly state of affair.

The Mother of the tribe rose up early
to begin the task at hand.
Or maybe it was that she just arose when the young child cried
and procrastinated a few hours before beginning the task.
Never the less, she had a mind to work,
and work she finally did, for things were fairly flying.

As she spun herself in circles, the son of Eric spoke.
“Mother, we are in need of freshly baked cookies!”
Hoping to dissuade her only son she replied,
“Son, there are many cookies residing downstairs
in the depths of the freezer.
Take yourself down and fetch me a box, please.”

But he obeyed her not, only answering her command with,
“Mother, the cookies of which you speak
are not the cookies I desire.
My heart longs for cookies with many chips of chocolate,
soft and gooey, that they may melt in my mouth.”

The Mother of the tribe dropped her dust rag,
thought long and hard of her reply, and in her sweetest voice cooed,
“Son, would it please you if we would bake a pan of bars,
all gooey with chocolate, soft and melty, just like cookies.”
For this mother knew in her heart that baking bars
was so much easier then scooping cookie dough.

Yet once again her son quickly and firmly replied,
“No Mother, cookies it must be and cookies it will be,
all soft and gooey with chips that melt in your mouth!”

So the Mother, seeing the futility of the fight,
gave up the battle, for she knew in her heart that they did indeed
need chocolate chip cookies, all warm and gooey.
She did indeed feel a bit contrite you might say,
for it had been many, many moons since she had baked
chocolate chip cookies for the son.

And so, dropping the cleaning rags of which we spoke,
they began to bake the cookies.
Oh, the mixing, the dumping, the pouring and such,
of the mess, one can only imagine if one has small helpers.

First upon the tray were place small heaps of dough,
all gooey and lovely with nary a chip in sight.
The son stared wide eyed and in an astounded voice cried,
“Mother, where are the chips for which I long?”
“Oh son,” she answered, “These are my cookies,
mine and your father’s, for you see,
cookies without chips are the best kind of cookies!”
Shaking his head he disagreeably stated,
“Only cookies with chips are the bestest,
we must need put chips in the rest.”

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Baking continued and soon it was that they added chips and more chips,
licked the dough, scooped some more, baked them up,
and the children of the tribe of Eric were happy indeed.

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The Mother of the tribe was surprised at how quickly she was done.
8 dozen lay in rows with only one or two missing occasionally.

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The son of the tribe looked them over,
sized them up and down and around,
carefully checking the tops and the bottoms
for that one cookie with the mostest chips
that would be all goey and melt in your mouth.

He must have found quite a few perfect ones
for more then one was consumed that day.

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As for the chipless ones,
the Mother was happy with only a few
for her and the father of the tribe.
The less desirable they appear,
the fewer consumed to stick around with her forever.

Easy Chocolate Chip Cookies

2 C butter
1 1/2 C White Sugar
1 1/2 C Brown Sugar
4 eggs
-cream together

2 tsp Soda
2 tsp Salt
2 tsp Vanilla
2/3 C Instant vanilla pudding (or 1 box)
5 C flour
16oz Chocolate chips

-Mix well.
Bake 8-9 min @ 375

Of Whining and Work

In the fifth month of the year of our Lord,
the daughters of the tribe of Eric, son of Dan
were weary with their schooling,
ready to be free.

The mother of the tribe was weary also,
ready to be free of the demands
of the rigid schedule.

Excitement mounted
and soon it came to pass
that the school year had ended.
Freedom at last,
(or so they thought)
to do as we please.

Stay awake with the moon,
they surmised,
and sleep past the rising of the sun!
Lie about on pillows of ease,
and read the day away.
The watching of movies,
talk of pools, sun and sand,
parties with tea,
and all things grand.
Life at its best.

But lo, there was the mother of the tribe,
who knew what was to come.
Soon it was, that bickering and grumbling,
followed closely by much wailing
overtook the household.

The daughters of the tribe
commenced to arguing and strife.
“But you did…  but you didn’t!”
“Mother, she said this… well she said that!”
And the striving raged on.

The son of the tribe of Eric,
found pleasure in tormenting females,
where upon wailing would ensue,
much to his delight.
Simply placing his hand upon the head of small one
would cause great anguish for all,
followed by his laughter.

And so on and so forth, until the sun went down.
And the evening and the morning were the unending day.

And lo, the mother of the tribe…
had had enough.

The great wide world of outdoors was calling.
And so the door was opened
and the tribe was ushered outside.
But alas, the rains fell and beat upon the roof
and great was the fall of it,
returning the children indoors.

And the evening and the morning were the unending day.

Nearing the end of her sanity,
she rose early and  made lists
of all things profitable,
work of all shapes and sizes to be done,
written on tablets of stone!
The spiders in their webs did quake in fear.

And when her children arose,
she gathered them together
and did line them up with a stern command.

Thus saith the mother and so it shall be.
“If fighting or any such thing equal thereto should occur,
a job will be applied.
All whining and complaining
will be met with more work.
All teasing will be abolished with
cleaning of toilets and sinks!”

And they opened their mouths
and did wail with great cries of anguish.
Where upon the mother applied a job to each.

And all was silent.

So from this day forward peace did reign.
When fighting and wars arise amongst the tribe,
the house becomes clean once again.

All the while the mother secretly debated in her heart
over wishing for school to start again
or enjoying her clean house.

Reag

A City Trip (with kids)

On the 10th day of the 10th month,
the father of the tribe of Eric, son of Dan
set off on a journey to the golf course
with brothers, uncles and cousins of all tribes.

Now the mother of the tribe of Eric, son of Dan,
knowing that her husband was leaving,
thought to herself,
“The daughters of the tribe have been requesting
a trip to the near by city, we should go.”
Where upon when school was dismissed,
she loaded the tribe and set sail.
One would have thought that by now
this mother would know better, but alas,
she forgets quickly.

Arriving at the entrance of the city gates,
a dispute arises among the occupants of the carriage
on where to purchase food for the evening meal.
One was in search of the Chinese,
another requesting a visit with the Mexicans
and yet another wanted to spend time with
Old McDonald on his farm.
Putting her foot down swiftly
the mother of the tribe of Eric, son of Dan replied,
“I will decide!”
And so it would be.

Upon arriving at their destination,
seat belts clicked,
squabbles broke out
and more disputes arose.
After quieting the tribe,
the mother herded them toward the entrance.

Once inside, Little One yelled loudly
and chewed the handle of the cart.
The eldest of the tribe firmly griped the hand
of the son of Eric
and a roar came forth from him
as one can only imagine,
for he did not want his hand held.
Not to be left out,
the 2nd daughter of the tribe ambled about,
the world in general dismissed from her mind,
eying candy, touching goods, reading labels,
wandering aimlessly in front of anyone whose path we might cross.

Where upon, the mother of the tribe of Eric, son of Dan
squeezed her eyes shut and wondered
what in this world she had gotten herself into,
for you see,
it had been many months since she had embarked
on such a journey.
To the best of her ability she pressed onward
going potty, putting things back on shelves,
looking at toys, squelching requests,
rounding up stragglers,
and mentally praying that her husband
was enjoying himself.

When the walk through the store concluded,
they left the building and upon entering the carriage
a cry arose from the tribe
as to where we should purchase food for the evening meal.
Squeezing her eyes tightly,
the mother once again let her voice be heard.
And all was quiet!

A mental decision was made to visit the food court
at the local mall where everyone could
partake of the food of their choice.
Only if you are a mother
can you image the going on that followed
creating the event of the evening meal.
The mother of the tribe was grateful
that few people had chosen to grace us with their presence.

Exiting the building the eldest daughter quietly spoke,
“Now I know why we don’t do this very often!”
And the Mother just smiled and herded her tribe
back to the carriage for the return trip
and hoped that her husband was enjoying himself.

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The Duck’s Demise

On the morning of the 8th day of the 5th month
the second daughter of the tribe of Eric, son of Dan
raced out to cuddle her ducks.
Much to the dismay of the daughter,
the feathered fowl were not in their newly built pen.
Frantic searching ensued
but alas, no ducks could be found.

The father of the tribe,
walked to and fro around the barn
and lo, he beheld some fuzzy feathers
far back in the weeds.
More searching produced more evidence,
and so it was,
the death of 2 ducks
by an unknown hand.

Many a tear was shed
over this calamity
for the daughter of Eric, son of Dan,
loved these ducks ever so much.
The mother of the tribe of Eric,
who disliked the ducks ever so much,
was only sad that her daughter was sad.

Late in the day, before the sun had set,
the father of the tribe brought his shovel
and prepared a resting place
for the ducks.
And the 2nd daughter of the tribe of Eric, son of Dan
was very sorrowful
and prepared a cross to be placed
at the resting place of her beloved ducks.

When the burial was complete
and the cross pushed into the cold ground,
she walked away, heavy of heart.
With tear filled eyes she says,
“Mom, I really did love those ducks!”
And at that moment, her mother did too.

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If you missed the first installment of the ducks, click Here.

Tales of Teachers and Ducks

And there came a day when the daughters of Eric, son of Dan,
were old enough to receive an education.
They were in need of someone to teach them,
to instruct them and promote growth to their young minds.

This was to be a great education to be exact,
for not just anything would do for the daughters of Eric, son of Dan.
And so it came to be that they were enrolled into the school of choice,
seeing as this school employed high quality teachers.

Soon came the day that the eldest ventured out into the great wide world
and began to attended school day after day.
As the weeks passed, she fell in love with her beloved teacher.
From here forward, this teacher could do or say no wrong,
no matter what the parents of this child might say,
the teacher was always right in the eyes of the child.
And so it was.

A year passed and we began the second year of schooling.
Late into this school term, the eldest daughter came home
with much excitement bubbling forth for so it would seem,
this beloved teacher was going to buy eggs and hatch chicks for them all.
The child’s mother was not bubbling forth with excitement over this news.

And so with much ado, the incubation of the chicks began.
Day after day we were graced with many details of these happenings.
And it came to pass that the chicks were hatched,
2 for each student.
The chicks were lavished upon greatly by teacher and children alike
until one day the beloved teacher tired of caring for stinky chicks.
The message was sent home to all parents,
“Go into the towns around and buy cages and chick food and prepare,
for the chicks will be arriving at your houses any day!”
And so it was.

But lo, this mother who loathes chicks and all things smelly,
did not prepare properly, much to her daughter’s dismay.
After arriving home from school,
2 chicks were sent away to the dungeon of the house.
Soon it became too much for one and he fell into a great of depression,
and shortly there after, took his own life.
“One chick,” said the skeeming mother, “will be lonely.
We must needs give it away to another student with 2 chicks.”
And so it was,
much to the dismay of the the eldest child.

Now it came to pass that the 2nd daughter of Eric, son of Dan
reached the age of education and was sent to the same school.
As before, Miss Beloved Teacher was there to welcome her
and taught her a great many things through out the year.
So it was that the 2nd daughter loved her teacher, just as much as the first.
“What a wonderful teacher,” thought the mother,
who had long forgotten the chicks.

But there came a day, one of great excitement and shouting with joy,
that the children of Eric arrived home from school
to inform their mother of a new project.
So it would seem this beloved teacher
had once again taken it upon herself
to buy eggs and produce more feathered friends for the children.
But it was not to be just any eggs,
these were special,
for there were ducks inside.

After days of turning eggs, much ado,
talking and regaling of egg tales,
they were hatched.
Oh joy of joys, there were ducks,
teacher and children were happy.
Much dancing and laughing occurred at the thought of owning ducks,
all the while the mother’s of those children were groaning within.

Now this mother, although being much wiser this time,
still prepared nothing for when the ducks would arrive.
And there came the day, much to her dismay,
that the second daughter arrived home
with the sons of Mr & Mrs Quack.

Since the wife of Eric, mother of his children, did nothing to prepare,
the daughter filled the little blue pool with water.
After placing her hand in the water,
she declared it much too cold for her precious ducks
because the most beloved teacher had proclaimed that ducks
only enjoy warm water.
One can only imagine what happened next.
The mother was called upon to carry 5 gallon buckets
filled with warm water from the bathtub
for the enjoyment of the ducks.
And for a short period of time,
life was grand while the ducks merrily swam.

Now the tribe of Eric, son of Dan,
has recently become the caretakers of the neighbor’s stray cat.
As all wise ones know,
cats and ducks are not usually on friendly terms
so much care was given to the guarding of ducks from said Cat.
Cat alternated between stalking the ducklings
and slinking away when they quacked.
The daughter, much concerned for the fate of her ducks,
tied a string around Cat’s neck
and the string to the porch railing
and resumed normal life.

It came to pass at a later time
that the mother of the tribe of Eric,
made her way from the dungeon and to her amazement
heard a sound unlike ever heard before.
Much howling, squalling and screeching was coming from the back porch.
Upon investigating, the mother flew into a frenzied state of panic
at the sight of Cat nigh near strangling to death
due to the rope being tied around his neck.
Much will be left unsaid of the frantic events that followed,
suffice to say that all is well with Cat and ducks at the present time.

The ducks it would seem, leave great droppings all around
and cause much grief with smells, sounds and Cat.
The mother of tribe of Eric has been left to tend to these feathered fowls
while her daughters attend school with their beloved teacher.
Many thoughts crossed the mother’s mind today
while she filled the little blue pool with cold water
and swept away droppings of all kind.
So without farther ado,
Pete and Polo Duck will soon be finding their way
to the a fore mentioned neighbor’s pond
where they may swim in peace
with nary a sign of Cat to be seen.

The teacher remains much beloved by her students.
And with chicks and ducks put out of sight and mind,
the mother of the tribe of Eric, loves this teacher too,
for she does a wonderful job of educating little minds.

In the end,
since this mother teaches her children to be honest,
she must be too, and say
she is very glad that there will no more ducks or chicks
in the near future of her children.

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 Follow the ongoing Duck saga here.