And They Did Eat

And lo, the days of quarantine were upon them all
and the tribe of Eric, son of Dan, did reside at home
day after day after day upon day
until day turned into night and into the morning,
with no knowledge of what day may be tomorrow,
neither could they tell what day was this very hour,
from the rising of the sun to the setting thereof.

And behold, while they remained in the house,
they did roam about, searching for things to devour
and the sound of munching and crunching
did fill the ears of all that were in the house.

And the Mother of the tribe did weep and wail in lament,
saying unto herself and to all within hearing,
“How is it that the consumption of food is so great among us?
Shall I go out and sell all that we have to buy bread?
Whatever has overcome thy stomachs
that you believe starvation to be nigh?”

And they answered her not, for they did not observe,
neither did they hear, for the sound of their chewing was deafening.

And so it was, that day after day the mother of the tribe
did lean over the fire, cooking for the children of her youth;
and the consumption of food thereof was great.

There were meats to be grilled, potatoes to be mashed,
squawking chickens to be plucked and cooked,
hamburgers to prepare, while pasta and sauces simmered.
Cookies and pies, breads, bars and cakes,
more cookies, along with fruit and veggies galore.
There was the frying of pancakes and eggs, sausage and bacon,
bowls of cereal, with bagels and muffins for all.
Great dishes of lasagna, heaping piles of chipotle,
pizza and steaks and roast beef with gravy,
along with all the leeks and garlic of Egypt.

Behold, they fared sumptuously every day
and they did all eat but were not filled.

And turning, the mother wiped the sweat from her brow
yet her eyes beheld not the fruits of her labor,
but only the crumbs that remained,
being licked up by the dog.

Disbelief and despair marked her face
and upon seeing her look, her son wailed also,
“Mother, where has all the food gone?
I find nothing at all to eat! Behold, I perish!”

And sitting down, she did put her head into her hands
and sighed greatly, saying,
“My son, I too am begging for an answer to thy question.
Who are the ravishing among us scarfing it up?
For lo, all my work has disappeared, eaten by people
roaming to and fro, looking for what they might devour.
What is this that has come upon us?”

And her cooking spirit did wither and fail,
and she rose from her chair with a heave and a sigh,
proclaiming to all within hearing that
she was weary and worn and in need of much rest.
For never in all of her days had she beheld such a thing,
that the staying home of the tribe
had turned them into ravishing wolves,
scavenging for food to be devoured before the next.

And with the voice of a trumpet, she did declare
them to be filled, fat, and full, and no food was to be eaten
until the serving of the next square meal.

And a great cry arose, but she did drown them out, saying,
“Get out thy books. Home school hath begun!”

eat

A Hunting Saga

And so it was in the eleventh month of the year,
when the trees of the field had lost their leaves
and the harvest was gathered and stored,
a sudden illness of fever overtook mankind once more.
Lo, many were the bows, guns, and knives gathered
and much scheming of men did abound.

And all the swift-footed creatures of the forest
quieted themselves and turned their heads.
Then, lifting their noses they did sniff the air
and swiftly run for refuge and safety
from the cunning hunters that stalked them.

From generation to generation this saga continued,
men of old teaching children of youth,
line upon line, precept upon precept,
recounting tales of old and skills of new,
all for the cause of hunting the swift-footed deer.

And so it continued in the tribe of Eric, son of Dan,
for behold, the father of the tribe had been taught
this skill also and was well versed in the ways of the wild.

Now it was on the morning of the first day,
that he did send messages unto his brothers,
for they too possessed knowledge and skills in this quest,
gathered from the teachings of their father.
And they went out and from dawn to dusk
did hunt and stalk their prey, making much to-do,
but in the end, all efforts were to no avail.
Though they were much grieved in their spirits
by this failure that had come to pass,
many were the stories thereof told.

Now, the children of the tribe of Eric, son of Dan,
listened in amazement and did cry aloud saying,
“Father, let it be so that we also may join you.
For as sure as the night is dark and the day is long,
we will be able to remain silent
and retain our body heat while sitting in the forest
awaiting the arrival of a swift-footed deer.”

And all the while the mother of the tribe
wondered in bewilderment that you should desire
such a thing when the comforts of home were so sweet.

So it was on the morning of the third day,
the mother of the tribe of Eric, son of Dan,
did arise and prepared food for her household
before they should depart for their classes of learning.
For just as the dawn broke the eastern sky,
there was much hustling, bustling, and stirring about
amongst the children of the tribe.

And so it was that when his morning cup
of black brew was empty, the father of the tribe arose
and quietly left the cup upon the counter to be cleaned.
And standing for a moment did gaze out of the window,
and suddenly he began to call in quiet, frantic tones,
“Behold! There standeth within range,
a fatted doe, awaiting me!
Hide thyself from the windows
and speak with whispered words!”

Swiftly much ripping and racing about did occur,
but the mother of tribe merely raised
her eyebrows as she went about her business,
for she had heard this story before.

And as she called threats to her children to hurry,
there came a resounding, “BOOM!” from a window overhead.
And lo, how her heart did lurch in her chest
as she gasped in amazement from the sound.
Then much to her surprise, she heard a hiss from the stairs,
“The doe hath dropped, but another standeth nearby.
Bring now more ammo and that my daughter
may also harvest one!”

Now I tell you of a truth, that in all the world,
eye hath not seen nor ear heard
the flurrying scurry of all wild things moving at once
as did occur in the moments at hand.
For such a time as this, not one soul
was about to be left behind and all gathered in the bedroom
to behold the sight before their very eyes.

The father of the tribe, as his father before him,
instructed the daughter with care of sighting and aiming.
Tense words were whispered and many movements later,
we closed our ears and jerked to the thundering boom.
Much laughter and merriment did follow
as the children of the tribe cheered for two in one morning,
and none less than from the bedroom window.

But the mother of the tribe not caring as much as her offspring,
was not to be deterred from her mission
and hustled and bustled them around, calling out threats,
and behold, they were only eight minutes late to their classes.

And so it was in the fall of this year,
another story was played out, to be told and retold
for generations to come of the father and daughter
who stalked and took their prey from the comforts of home,
just as the mother of the tribe knew was the best place to be.

R hunts

Lo, How A Summer Doth Fly

And so it was in the eighth month of the year of our Lord,
in the midst of days of running to and fro,
that summer did wax hot and the days long.
But although the days were long,
the months were short and soon it was to be
that school was almost upon us.

And the mother of the tribe of Eric, son of Dan
did as Lot’s wife, and looked back.
With wistful thinking, she pondered,
“Why is it that so many things remain undone?”
What of my plans for teaching new skills,
of guiding and prompting the tribe along in wisdom?
What of the days of sitting upon the river bank
and the dangling of feet with not a care?
Behold, were there not picnics planned which happened not,
also days of relaxation by the water with castles of sand,
and surely, all manner of things most splendid
of which little was accomplished.
It would seem as though we did blink,
and lo, the summer was past and gone.

July (18)

And so it was that the mother of the tribe
continued to look back and ponder
all her hopes, dreams, and plans for the summer,
for she once had a great many.
What became of the days she wished to spend
teaching, training and instructing her daughters
to further their culinary skills,
so as to work herself out of a job?
For lo, time was running out, school was approaching
and it would seem she had gotten nowhere, swiftly.

Madison bakes

There were a great and many other things left untaught,
such as sewing of dresses, canning of foods,
and the proper sorting of laundry and such deeds.
Yet it would seem the interest of her daughters
did not lie in such things, but rather
they fell prey to things such as the baking of all things sweet
and of painting, brushing, etching and sketching.
“Have I failed them again, these few short months?”

Reagan's art

And as the mother of the tribe of Eric, son of Dan
stepped back to survey the past summer,
she did moan and groan in her spirit
and was grieved to find that her son
was no more of a proper gentleman then he had been
when summer commenced in the fifth month.
Behold, the burping, farting, and jumping
seemed only to increase in strength and might
as quickly as did he through the summer months.
His love of teasing and tormenting did far exceed
his love of all things proper and mannerly.

And so it was for days without end,
that the “Battle of Siblings” was fought in full fury.
And though they wearied, yet the skirmish ended not,
for lo, there was not one among them who would
give in, give up, forget, or forgive.
And fraught with weariness of mind and body,
the mother of the tribe thought to call
the father of them all and beg and plead of him,
“Come hitherto, and hold up these arms of mine,
for they are weary from the separating of your children,
for surely I am rescuing them from the death of one another.”
And behold, a fine word from the father of the tribe
ended the never-ending battle, for such as time as this,
because he did take his son along to work the next day.
But the Mother knew in her heart of hearts
that as sure as the dawn breaks the darkness,
so it would begin again shortly and she pondered,
“Have I not taught, have they not heard,
have they not retained any such things of which I speak?”

D&R

And as her mind was tossed to and fro,
she looked back to conversations of yore
and was once again reminded by the wisdom of the aged.
For it was said of them over and over again,
“Make haste and enjoy the day at hand,
for surely there will come a day when all the children
of men will be departed from your tents
and all the apron strings will be torn asunder.
And lo, it shall be in that day that you will sigh unto yourself
and looking back, wistfully pine for these days.”
And she puzzled in disbelief as to how it would ever be so.

Wise words of old she knoweth not,
yet one thing she doth know for sure,
“Lo, how a summer doth fly!”
And so she purposed in her heart
to forget the work that waiteth at daybreak
and to take delight in the short days remaining
until the time of school was at hand.
And behold, she girded up her skirts,
waded into the fray and listening
to the sounds of the tribe
she wondered if maybe one day
she really would miss it.

Of Much To-do About Cleaning

And lo, there came a day in the year of here and now that the mother of the mother of the tribe of Eric, son of Dan sent a message unto this household saying,
“Prepare, for we are about to begin on a journey to see thee and thy kinfolk and our children’s children. Do not kill the fatted calf or dust the webs and sweep dungeons for though the voyage be long, our stay will be but for a short while. Our caravan of camels, servants, and kinsmen will be arriving on this given day and will rest and enjoy a short stay within your house.”

But when the message was delivered, the mother of the children of the tribe of Eric, son of Dan heeded only to the first sentence of the missive, the part about the coming of the tribe of Owen, son of Enos where upon she commenced into a frenzied state of affair.

With much weeping and wailing, she did cry unto herself and her children,
“Why ever was I so slothful in the affairs of cleaning corners? Make haste at once children and bring me the brooms and rags of all shapes and sizes, and many of them, for we will need them all. Run son, with all thy might, to the barns and sweep the floors, daughters, scurry and grab the mop and attack the corners at once!” And so it was that the war on dirt and dust bunnies did commence with furry and vengeance because the kinsmen were coming.

Small eight-legged creatures building webs trembled in terror and the dust bunnies did make much ado and billow about. Her children while working, did moan and wailed and cried, “Mother, please do not torture us so with all this cleaning and bustling about. Do you not suppose our relatives have dirt and webs of their own and are accustomed to such things?” But the Mother harkened not unto their cries and relentlessly tore into her household with haste, for her kinsmen were coming.

And so it was from dawn until dusk they did labor, busily scurrying about, preparing for the guests to arrive. Much to the joy of the mother of the tribe, her daughters were home for an extra day from their place of learning, and so the much more did she torture them with work to do.

And picking up her cellar device she did place a call unto her husband and said unto him, “My kinsmen are coming, buy and kill the fatted calf with which we might feed them well for they are special and worthy of honor.

So he harkened unto her voice at once and bought and prepared the meat with spices and seasonings of his kind. And while it was yet dark, before the dawn broke the sky, he arose and did place the meat upon the grill in preparation for the feast.

When finally the day arrived for which they had all been preparing, the mother of the tribe scurried about with more preparations. But the son and daughters of the tribe of Eric, son of Dan, happily escaped hither to their place of learning with much joy and happiness at the thought of escaping their frenzied mother.

Hours past with much haste and when all was prepared and the time of their arrival was at hand, the mother did flop her body onto a chair and sigh, imagining that all had been accomplished and all was well. But as she surveyed her work, she saw that much to-do had been in vain, for it seemed as soon as one room had been mopped and fluffed, the eight-legged creatures and bunnies of dust did promptly make their way in and set up residence, happy to reside in a room that smelled fresh and new, just for them.

And upon seeing the weary faces of her children and examining and finding grouchiness in herself, she purposed in her heart that the next time kinfolk were coming, they would surely do just fine in a house where dust bunnies and eight-legged creatures do reside. After all, it seemed the bustling about with much to-do had accomplished next to nothing because the creatures had not moved out at all, but were merely rearranged.

And so it was with much joy and rejoicing they welcome the caravan of family upon their late arrival and a wonderful weekend was had by all, bunnies, webs and all.

Falls (1)

 

Save

Save

Save

Tales of Nellie Hamster

Now as the summer came to a close,
and the days of earth shortened in length,
it came to pass that the children
of the tribe of Eric, son of Dan,
went back to their place of learning.

Now the son of the tribe
was in his first year of twelve,
and much excitement abounded.
He was joyful in heart and mind
to be leaving the house of his Mother
and joining a classroom with
the beloved teacher of his sisters.

Now the Mother of the tribe of Eric,
loved this teacher also
for her skills and abilities in the classroom
were not to be compared to any other.
But the Mother of the tribe was also wise
and she knew much about the ways of
this much-beloved teacher of her children.
Many years before when the daughters of the tribe
were scholars of this teacher,
animals aplenty abounded
and this mother felt an ill wind blowing,
when she pondered on her son attending this class.

And so it was that school commenced
and excitement rose to an all-time high
in the house of this tribe.
Upon arriving home
from the first day of schooling,
shouts and cries could be heard
from the son of the tribe,
“We have a hamster for a pet at school
and we get to babysit him on weekends!”
And when upon hearing the words of her son,
did the mother’s head drop with her chin
against her chest for all of her fears
had come to pass.

nellie-1

True to the words of the son of the tribe,
a paper soon arrived for the Mother.
Instructions were to sign for weekends
when you did not want to be the caretaker
of the previously mention small ball of fur.
Immediately upon reading these words,
the Mother grabbed a pen and began to sign
the son’s name upon every line.
Now her children were wise unto her ways
and a cry arose voicing their disapproval of her actions.
Being the kind-hearted Mother she is,
she relented and allowed that the
small creature of fur would be able
to cross the threshold of her home,
but only for the sake of her son.

nellie-6

Anticipation mounted high
in the weeks awaiting the creatures arrival.
As circumstances would have it,
the parents of the Mother of the tribe
would be arriving the same weekend.
The Mother of the tribe of Eric, son of Dan,
had an uneasy foreboding about the
meshing of said visitors.

nellie-5

And so the day arrived that
Hamster Nellie of the tribe of Miss Lois
arrived at the home of the clan.
Much hooping and hollering did abound
when the cage was brought into the house.
They immediately knelt upon the ground
and loosen the latch to free the small prisoner.
And so the much loved Nellie was thereafter
carried and cuddle and cared for
in the most adoring manner.
Along with the loving,
this small creature caused many an argument
over who was to have a turn next.

nellie-3

Now the grandmother of the son of the tribe
is not a lover of all things small and furry.
Armed with this knowledge and a sneaky smile,
her grandson proceeded to place Nellie
upon her lap and stepped back to watch the action.
Much yelling and protesting did come forth,
just in the manner for which he hoped
and with much laughter on his part,
he did rescue poor Nellie.
After the swift removal, it was then discovered
that when a small hamster is nervous and scared,
their bowels produce multiple droppings,
even if it isn‘t appropriate to do so
on a grandmother‘s lap.

nellie-4

And so the entire weekend was filled
with shrieks and yells and much
exclaiming and ado over
the actions of one small furry creature.
The little fur ball may have been frightened
for her life on more than a few occasions.
Escapes were made under furniture,
behind computers, under tables and such like,
with much chasing and rioting to follow.
Burrowing down under the blankets of
the bed of the son of the tribe,
seemed to be a favorite of hers.
The Mother of the son just
closed her imaginative mind
to the things that must be residing
in the bed and made plans to
clean many things the following day.

nellie-2

Monday morning could not come
soon enough for the Mother.
Many were the threatenings
and evil thoughts bouncing
when mention was made of this ball of fur.
And much to her dismay
as she was closing the door behind her son
as he made his way off to school,
she heard him excitedly say,
“I can’t wait till the next weekend
we can babysit Nellie!”

nellie-7

Save

Save

Save

Save