I look around.
I see her smile, abilities, qualities, her beauty.

I look at myself, I see flaws.
There are just so. many. things wrong with me.

I compare me. And her.

shell (4)
I feel like I am just the smallest shell in the sea,
the most worthless, who would care about me?
There are so many holes in my heart.
The gritty sand that is rough and painful squeezes in
and makes the holes even bigger.

shell (5)
She smiles, talks, laughs, loves people.
I am quiet, hurting, closed up tight.
Everyone loves her, they look right past me.

shell (2)
I see my cracked pieces, rough edges,
my inabilities, my faults, oh how many there are.

shell (1)
I line myself up, side by side with her.
She is white, clean, seemingly perfect.
I am small, dirty, and ugly.
My heart has spots no one knows about,
but I don’t notice any on her.

Comparison has stolen my joy.
I have become green with jealousy.
It’s consuming me, breaking off one piece of heart at a time.
I am miserable, I can’t even enjoy life.

If I would look closer,
there are things about her I didn’t even see.
She has some tiny pieces lodged in a spot.
Her edges are not completely round.
They were jagged at one time,
but are now smooth by the water of God’s love.
There is some discoloring, so at one time
she may have been just as green as I am.
But now, by allowing God to transform her,
she has been made beautiful.
Her imperfections are still there, she still has flaws,
but I didn’t even notice because I
have been consumed with comparing
her goodness to my inabilities.

shell (3)

I have lost my perspective.
Things seem so much better in her life,
but obviously at some point in time
she fought battles of her own.
The scars are there, but her life shows she fought and won.
I have forgotten that I can too, with Jesus.

I’ve forgotten about Gratitude.
How much about my life is there to be thankful for?
So many good things!
Things I don’t even notice anymore
because I am consumed with comparison.
I need to take the focus off my hurts, myself,
count ways God has blessed me
and find my joy again.

I can’t compare my weakness with her strength.
Each of us are created unique.
God made me, He sees me, He loves me,
just the way I am, for who I am,
right here, right now.
Sure, He wants to work on me,
to smooth my edges,
but He loves the me of right now.

A rose can never be a sunflower and a sunflower can never be a rose.
All flowers are beautiful in their own way and that’s like women too.

If I take my eyes off myself,
focus on Jesus and His love,
my perspective changes
and I soon find myself
wanting to become more like Him
instead of someone else.