Life of Grief

My mind whirls endlessly,
never ending questions without answers,
fighting reality, grasping for hope.

And then without warning, a London fog rolls in
and my mind stops on it’s on accord,
unable to process the most simple things.

Tears push behind my eyes, but refuse to fall.
The next minute tears well up ceaselessly,
a never ending stream.

Life continues to go on around me,
even when I feel like it stopped.

The last few weeks would best be described with a photo a day.
I do have a photo for every day,
but I won’t be sharing them all for various reasons.

10-7

10.7
On the darkest of days, friends and family rally around to lift you.

10-11

10.11
The days following the funeral were filled with
shiny stars, beautiful sunrises, sunsets, and much more.

10-12

10.12
We stood in the lawn one afternoon and watched God
paint a rainbow right before our eyes.

10-13

10.13
There were days spent in Tris’ shop,
looking through his tools, laughing at his jokes
remembering him in his favorite spot.

10-14

10.14
Glowing evening sunshine warmed us,
dried our tears, and drew us closer to heaven.

10-15

10.15
There were quiet evenings around the fire,
reflecting, talking about Tris and all of our good memories.

10-16

10.16
Tris was a junk food junkie and his work truck was full of snacks.
Sarita and I went to his favorite store and loaded up on his favorite stuff.

10-17

10.17
More time spent in his shop,
checking out his next projects and remembering better days.

10-18

10.18
And one last early morning visit,
saying good-bye before I went home.

~~~

Blogging may be sporadic until I get my thoughts together again.
I don’t want to bog you down with my mountain of grief,
but neither do I want to write like it never happened.
It has very much effected our lives and changed us forever.

Keep praying for our family,
it looks like Mt Everest was dropped in front of us
and is waiting to be climbed.

Life of Late

The mind whirls, the brain spins,
yet nothing intelligent comes forth.
Is that anything new?
I would like to think so,
but then again, I wouldn’t know
because it seems this brain has taken
a siesta from it’s body as of late.

Funerals attended.
A week in Indiana.
Good times with family and friends.
A health crisis with Mom.
A wedding.
Back home.
Calling hours of a friend’s Mom.
A bridal shower.

And in between all that,
there is all the usual here at home.
I felt the lawn tickling my knees
while tomatoes call to me through their rotten spots.
Zucchini the size of pumpkins crawl from the garden,
begging for attention. I am deaf to their cries.
Girls continue to grow, with no concern for what they will wear.
Photos cry from their spot, hidden away in Lightroom.
People continue to send wedding invitations,
all pretty and pleasing to the eye.
I gaze longingly and wish to attend, relax amid the beauty,
and maybe take a nap while I’m there.
Children continue to roam freely,
building towers of toilet paper rolls, while chewing 5 pieces of gum.

These are the days, they say.
You will miss this some day, they say.
Until then, here’s a few of my Project 365 photos of what’s been happening.

8-6
I did attend to the zucchini’s cries one day
and chopped it into relish.

8-8
This my friends, is the newest leg killer in town.
It is out to get you, just begging to be climbed.
Not hard at all, just a few 200+ steps.
5 days later the legs were still swearing on the way downstairs.

8-9
“How many pieces of popcorn can you catch with your mouth?”

8-10
“I think I can, I think I can!”
And he did.

8-11
Watching Grandpa’s new Tv in their tent!

8-13
Visiting Grandma in the hospital after her heart attack.

8-14
We were reminded to cherish each day with our loved ones.

8-16
My quiet traveling companion.

8-17
There was no time to drink coffee that morning,
but whooo could resist drinking with this guy.

8-18
We celebrated the pretty bride to be.

8-19
And one last shopping trip with this gang.
All the school supplies are collected and waiting for next week.

School and next week should never be in the same sentence,
especially when it feels like it is still July the 4th.

Of Summer Flying By

I thought it was going to be a lazy summer.
I thought we wouldn’t plan much and just enjoy down time.
I thought we would hit the beach and pool frequently.
I thought … I thought … but it was not to be.
Yet.
I am still planning for it to happen, one of these days,
whenever I catch up around here.
Let me know if you ever catch up and want to go along.

As for life around here …
lots of things are happening.

6-15
There is nothing more pleasing to a boy’s ears,
then the resounding screams of sisters.

July 7 (4)
We hosted a celebrity one night for supper.
We still used paper plates and drank chocolate milk.

6-18
We went to Grandma’s house one weekend..
(more on that in another post)
This was early in the morning and she marched out saying,
“I all ready to go to Gamma’s house!”

6-24
There were endless days of swimming classes the last few weeks,
squeezed in between rain showers and a few rays of sunshine.

July 7 (1)

This was one morning at class.
Jackets, sweaters and coffee, yes you are seeing right.
It was also 8am!

~~~
Somewhere in the middle of all of this,
I had another birthday!
The age will be undisclosed,
it’s a matter of the age of the mind from here on out.

I was gone for a little that morning and Madison was home.
I figured she was baking a birthday cake
because a few of her questions gave it away.
When I came home, she opened the door.
She was grinning and said,
“Come in and look at your cake!”
I couldn’t believe my eyes to see her laughing when I saw the cake.

6-26

She had been carrying it to the table right before I came home
and somehow, she’s not sure what happened,
it all slid off and landed in a heap on the table.
She had the grace to pile it back on the plate
and laugh about it when she gave it to me.
We put it in a pan, poured the caramel sauce over it
and feasted away! It was delicious.

July 7 (7)

We ate on the porch that night and the kids took a bunch of pictures.
Much to my dismay, most of them got deleted.
A lot of them were of a 2 year old howling about eating.
Just making sure Mom enjoyed her birthday.

~~~
6-27

There was the beautiful wedding of an Uncle one Sat.
Lots of fun seeing family!

6-28

Her flowers were gorgeous
and I was privileged to bring one home!

~~~
July 7 (2)
There was camping for days over the 4th …
more on that in another post.

~~~

July 7 (3)
Do not take a 2 year old to any store with these carts.
They will put everything they see in their cart.
They will be as proud as a peacock as they announce,
“I shopping like you, Mommy!”
When you get to the check out,
they will not accept any help placing items on the belt.
And then they will say,
I need you money, Mommy!”
After that they will not want to leave,
“Let’s get more, Mommy!”

~~~

Jule 7 (8)
Yesterday was, well, just what yesterday’s are.
Not pretty.
We were all a day behind and one would have thought it was Monday.
The mom was overloaded with things to do and stressed.
It was our first day home all day in about 3 weeks
and no one wanted to do anything,
except for reading, watching movies and taking naps.
We managed to survive and today is better.
Or it was so far.
We had stuffed french toast for lunch
and I’m afraid we’re going to be dealing with a sugar rush all afternoon.
Jule 7 (9)

Starting now,
with head stands on the furniture
by the one and only son!
Gotta go.

March – April 365

I’ve been lax on posting my 365 pictures.
I do post them on my Photography site on FB so you can see them there
or if you don’t have Facebook I am uploading them to a flickr account
that you can find HERE if you are so inclined.

Just a few of my favorites from the last few weeks.

3-23

3-23 Little girls with bedhead spooning cereal

3-24

3-24 A chilly walk home from school

3-27

3-27 “I put pennies in mine piggie bank.”

3-28

3-28 A Saturday morning waiting on waffles.

4-1

4-1 A lovely morning with family

4-4

4-4 She saw the dog killed a mouse so she took it and skinned it with her pocket knife. She was quite pleased with herself.

4-5

4-5 He is RISEN

4-8

4-8 Long days of painting and late one night I was finally done.

4-10

4-10 Would you like a piece or 2?

March – 365

March already?
Yes, I am aware that it is nearly over.

3-1
3-1 Soft pretzels

3-2
3-2 My Haitian bowl with fruit

3-3
3-3 The feverish child sleeps

3-4
3-4 The librarian is in.

3-5
3-5 There are actually days you can tell they love each other.

3-6
3-6 Their favorite spot in Pinecraft FL

3-7
3-7 Vacation is the life… for kids.
(but any good mom knows they were up and running in 2.5 sec)

3-8
3-8 Quick Care Sunday Morning.

3-9
3-9 Beach days are quite a lot more fun for the kids then parents.

3-10
3-10 Waving in the wind

3-11
3-11 Sea Shell hunting with their dad.
(You should have seen her throw it when it stuck a sticky leg out the side)

3-12
3-12 Little Georgie is feeling better if she wants my coffee again.

3-13
3-13 One last swim

3-14
3-14 Homeward bound

3-15
3-15 Are we there yet?

3-16
3-16 God paints the sky

3-18
3-18 Time spent with old friends are the best.

3-19
3-20 Reagan makes the best of the mud

3-20
3-21 A good lunch after grocery shopping

Project 365 – Feb

2-17
2-17 The kids went out to play after dark one night when Eric was gone.

2-18-22-18 My Little One

2-19
2-19 Lunch alone.

2-20
2-20 Our fireman who keeps us safe.
2-21
2-21 Their Dad came home to give them rides since their Mom wouldn’t go out in the snow.

Processed with VSCOcam with a4 preset

2-22 Sunday Night Popcorn

2-23

2-23 Fresh Bread

2-24

2-24 Someone had a birthday!

2-25

2-25 A bit of redecoration and best of all the kids stand and read the map.

Processed with VSCOcam with a6 preset

2-26 Helped with a Colonial Lunch at school

2-27

2-27 Miss Libby

2-28

2-28 A sister lunch

Project 365 – February

2-1

2-1 There is always good food at Mom’s house.

2-2

2-2 It’s always farming season, no matter the weather.

2-3

2-3 Yogart Parfaits for Ladies Night Out.

2-4

2-4 Grilled peanut butter and jelly.
Try it. It’s the best like that!

2-5

2-5 Would you like a blueberry with that?

2-6

2-6 Pretty Sunset while we traveled.

2-7

2-7 God’s delicate creation

2-8

2-8 An intriguing station

2-9

2-9 Fried cornmeal mush. Yummers.

2-10

2-10 My Good Will find

2-11

2-11  Our school had a book fair and Reagan’s class used “Summer of the Monkeys” for their book. (these were made for them by their teacher’s mom)

2-12

2-12 When you bow and arrow breaks, make skis.

2-13  You know they were good when you find this. The girls brought leftover cupcakes home from a school party and the little guys ate them up.

2-14

2-14 No flowery Valentines picture for this day. We got caught in this on the way home from town. Madison took this picture while I was driving.

2-15 Miss Monkey with a monkey face.

2-16

2-16 With arctic tempts this morning, not too much else matters.