Of Things I Didn’t Know

I didn’t know…
that you could live continually in a state of zombie tired,
that coffee would look and smell so beautiful in the morning,
or that it were possible to fall asleep while reading,
and that your brain could short circuit from weariness.

I didn’t know …
that my kids would want to eat 3 meals a day.
How tired I would get of cooking those meals
and how few ideas I would have for cooking.
Or how they would want 2 snacks between every meal
and that they would prefer to inhale mainly junk food.
How many times I would eat a meal standing up
or walking around grabbing bites.

I didn’t know…
how beautiful the sound of a quiet house,
how much noise 1 boy could make,
how serious the arguing would be between my children,
or how much they would really love each other.
(At least I think they do)

I didn’t know …
how much you could hurt for your child,
how much you want them to succeed,
or how many prayers you would whisper for them.

I didn’t know …
how many times I would say, “Put your clothes away.”
how many articles of clothing I would pick off the floor,
or how many loads of laundry I would wash.
(Do they change during the night too?)
Or this one, how one piece of clothing could cause such dramatic weeping and wailing.

I didn’t know …
how much I would hate stepping on a Lego,
how they would smear toothpaste all over the sink
and spit water all over the mirror.
Or how many times they would take the pillows off the couch
for fort building day and forget to put them back on.
That I would be able to recite the stories they listen to by heart,
or how many times I would feel shock at the state of a bedroom.

I didn’t know …
how much boys hates showers,
how little girls can swim for an hour,
or how much hot water big girls can wash down the drain.
How much hair girls can drop on the floor,
and how quickly I can clog a sweeper.

I didn’t know …
what it would feel like to watch them drive out the lane alone,
to send them out into the world while wondering
if you taught them enough.
How much I would wonder how a test at school was going
or if they got another demerit or made the honor roll.
how often I would think about them during the day,
and how they come barging in the door when they get home.

I didn’t know …
how much fun it would be to go out with my girls,
to watch them become the ladies they are.
Or how much laughter and joy a boy can be,
from wrestling homework to endless teasing.

I didn’t know…
how many hours a husband could work
and still work at home in the evening.
How nice it would be when he herds the boy to bed
and to hear him tell the girls good-night.
How much I love living life with him.

I didn’t know …
how much my own Mom meant to me until I became a mom,
or how wise my Dad really was until I had no answers.
How much my siblings meant to me until I moved away,
or how much I would miss them until I lost one.

I didn’t know …
that life doesn’t get easier as you get older,
or that you don’t feel as old as the young ones think you are.
How you don’t really have wise answers for life,
you just make them up as you go.
How complicated adults can make relationships,
or how easy it was to have 15 friends when you were 10.

I didn’t know…
how much your church would mean to you,
how much you would depend of your friends and family,
and how they would pull you through trying times.

I didn’t know …
the never ending supply of Jesus until I needed it,
how his mercy and grace sustains you every day.
How often I would cry out to him in the night,
and how many times he would answer my prayers.

I didn’t know…
how often my kids would say, “I didn’t know!”

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