Just When You Think…

Just when you think, “I’ve got this one. I can handle life!” it picks you up by the tail, swings you around and drops you with a thud. It gives you a whip lash you didn’t ask for and continues along at a high rate of speed, racing along the track with no end in sight. Life bumps, spins, and leaves you feeling like the merry-go-round was a bit too fast and went for a few more rounds then it should have.

Just when you think,  “Hey, we’ve gotten somewhere with this child. All that training and discipline must have done some good!” they will whip one out of their back pocket that you didn’t see coming. They will throw thee biggest temper tantrum in public that you have ever laid eyes on. Humble isn’t even a word any more after the mess they create, it‘s beyond that. You are just totally washed down the drain on this one, left spinning in the dirty water at the end of spout.

Just when you think, “We have had it all. There is no sickness left to afflict us, Lord!” you read a blog describing the horrors that cancer is doing to a young girl’s body. The hellish nightmares that she is facing and to what end? What hope? At least there is light at the end of tunnel for us. We haven’t been given a hopeless verdict.

Just when you think, “This 3 year old has given me more trials today then I can deal with. I’m loosing it.” I read a book about her 3 yr old dieing. All that sorrow, grief, and mourning that I know none of. All I’m dealing with is a very alive and healthy attitude. What she wouldn’t give to have a 3 yr old with an attitude to deal with.

Just when you think, “What is fair in all this? I want to be with my family this week, grieving a death, but here we are, stuck at home”  I am struck with the thought of God’s ways far above mine, knowing so much more then me, caring for me by keeping me tucked here at home. He knew the future, knew everything would end up happening the same week. He knew what was best for me. For what reason, I don’t know yet, but can I trust him with that knowing, even when I feel left in the dark?

Just when you think, “I cannot handle one more day of this! I cannot handle one more thing. I am stretched to the max. There is nothing left in me to give. Help me God!” He does. He lifts you on eagles wings and gives you strength. Maybe it was the desperate crying. Maybe it was the prayers of friends. Maybe He just saw my heart and knew what I needed. Perhaps He was just being God and carrying me when it was too hard to walk. Whatever it was, I thank Him.

The skies are not yet blue, but there are silver linings. There is always something to be grateful for, if I just look for it.

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10 thoughts on “Just When You Think…

  1. aw, shannon. i hear you on this one. reminds me of the verse – “though weeping endures the night, joy comes in the morning..” and some nights seems to last days. even months. maybe years. but there is that promise we can cling to – and i LOVE it. no matter what, joy is always on it’s way to us!! thanks for just being real.. laying out your feelings. i think we all struggle with making sense of life.

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